My Driver's Wife Spotlight

Drivers Wives Spotlight Interview Questions 1

I spoke to Chuck, today...he arrived in Nashville Safe and Sound...he already has a preplan ....I heard something about Ohio...near TOLEDO (my favorite word). After I heard Toledo, the rest was a blur....:) Hopefully they'll keep him moving all weekend since he was "stuck" at home for such a long time....rather to be not moving at home than in some crappy truckstop somewhere in the middle of nowhere....(that was an oxymoron....). Anyway, they sent him this one before he even delivered the first one, so they must be busy! (GOOD!) So, I thought I'd share an interview with you. I belong to a Truckers' wives group online....a bunch of us from all over the US (there are about 50 members, now) get together and chat daily at 6pm est, but I usually miss that because of supper, however, we swap stories and encourage one-another when things get hard - it's the best thing I could have done for myself since Chuck started this job. So, I was featured this week in their spotlight for the facebook page, and I thought I'd share the interview....my thoughts about all of this. There are some comments at the end from some of the wives as well, I couldn't remove them....Hope everyone's staying safe in the icy/snowy/ "wintery mix"....I hate that word! Have a great day!

Robin



About their drivers


So who does your driver Drive for?
Chuck drives for Swift Transportation out of Phoenix, AZ.

How long has he been driving?
He took his truck training course in May, 2009 and didn’t find someone to hire him until August. He has been driving from August to January….5 months, I guess.

Do you enjoy him being in this type of job?
Mostly no.

Why or Why not?
I miss having him here when our baby has a first or when I need more than 2 hands. I miss him at night; I miss him helping me fold clothes at night when the kids are in bed. I miss him going out to snow blow the driveway and being around as a male role model for our boys. He’s gone so much I attend most weekend functions alone or with kids, it can be very lonely. I’m glad he has this job because as far as career choices go, he is good at it and it is satisfying to him as a man.



What do you think are the pro’s of this career
The pros are the variety of locations he gets to see and he feels needed.

What do you think are the con’s of this career
This year he missed my birthday, our daughter’s birthday, Thanksgiving, almost Christmas. He missed New Year’s, he’ll miss Valentine’s Day and our anniversary….there is a lot of rearranging and planning around him. Financially it hasn’t paid off for us, yet, so he’s doing a lot of work and making a lot of sacrifices. I’m waiting for this to turn around, and it can be a source of resentment for me.



Can you think of a story that would be fun to share?
We don’t have funny stories that are funny for other people…we laugh all the time, but nothing real exciting for anyone else.


What is your position on lot lizards?
I think it’s sad that there are women in these positions in every environment. I think there are men who find them necessary; thank goodness my husband isn’t one of them! (they do sell window stickers with the red circle and line through it – no lot lizards!) He tells me every time he sees one….plus online chatting to home really helps…!

Do you feel you trust your husband?
The best thing about our relationship is the trust factor. I have absolutely no reason to mistrust him.



Was he a driver before you met? Or after.
After.



When you went into this- what were your expectations?
When he first got his CDL I didn’t imagine he would have to go OTR to work. I thought it was a good idea, but I didn’t put it together that we would have to be without him so much of the time. I was devastated, it was completely unexpected and shocking. At first I was paralyzed.



What do you think is the key to being a successful Drivers wife?
Having the trust from your husband that you are capable of running the household in his absence. He feels better about being gone if he knows things aren’t going to fall apart when he’s gone. Being strong.



What dangers do you think your driver faces?
Holy cow….20,000 other drivers on the road who have no consideration! Weather is big – since we live in Minnesota we are used to hazardous snow and ice, but different parts of the country have their own sets of occupational hazards. Personally, if I had to get in and out of the truck every day my clumsiness would be a hazard….I don’t know how they navigate those steps everyday!

How do you support your driver?
I sit on the phone with him for hours a day, when I really need to be getting other things done, but I know he is bored and lonesome. I help him with map questions and look up weather for him, if he’s going out of the region. I buy him groceries when he’s gone, so that the next time he leaves he knows I was thinking of him by planning ahead.

What do you think the most important relationship is in your driver’s career?
My husband says it’s with me….awww. (I’m on the phone with him right now) His DM is there to help him do his job, but it’s me and his family that he comes home to and motivates him to get up every day and do this again. In his words, the company is just a paycheck, but his family is his life….

How do you personally benefit from his career?
Currently, the biggest benefit is the financial one. He’s the sole provider for us. I am in graduate school and stay home with our 18 month old son; I also have 2 teen/preteens – a 7th grade daughter and a 6th grade son. His financial support allows me to accomplish my educational goals and be here at home for the kids when they need me the most. By having him away has, surprisingly, increased his value. (I say that tongue-and-cheek) This experience of having him away has really allowed me to “see” him for the person he is….he’s strong, capable and also self-reliant. I’m incredibly proud to have him in my life and to tell people about the sacrifices I know he makes every day for his family. It’s very powerful to see someone you love do something great for someone else without being asked, and I have had the benefit of seeing that.



What about dates? What is your favorite thing to do with your driver?
Is this a “PG” website? We had our first date this last home time since a year ago March….and we went with another couple – just out for drinks and a live band. We don’t really do things alone much. We hang out as a family most of the time. We enjoy ourselves together no matter what we do! We enjoy talking, laughing, working, playing, shopping….you name it!

Is he helpful when he is home?
Until boredom sets in….It’s kind of hard in Minnesota to do things outdoors, and that’s where he shines. He will sometimes help me fold clothes and he does a lot of the cooking when he’s home, especially breakfasts…and he lets me sleep in (I like that!). He spends a lot of time with our littlest one and changes diapers….makes up for lost time.

Briefly explain your interpersonal relationship with your driver.
Briefly…..I think I’ve shown some of that above, but we are very best friends. Sometimes it’s overwhelming to think one person can mean so much to you. It’s scary to think of the loss either of us would feel without the other. We are extremely committed, invested and enveloped in one another and our life really is “OURS”…not yours and mine. I think that’s why truck driving has been so difficult to adjust to!

About the Wife
I am 38 years old a mother of 3. I was born and raised in Minnesota. Chuck is my 3rd marriage, and he adopted my older 2 kids when we got married. (now they’re OURS) I love to golf (the 2 months of good weather we have here), I’ve played the piano since I was 8, I first went to college on a vocal music scholarship, now it’s just a hobby…I workout to the wii biggest loser workout – I have big goals…! My favorite foods are popcorn and ice cream…which is why I have big goals… I have 9 tattoos, and they get bigger every time, but I didn’t have ONE until I met Chuck….now I have too many, according to my mother. I belong to a literary book club that meets once a month, so I can have some adult time, but I really enjoy my new friends with the Trucker’s Wives Support group…I really needed some connections to keep me sane. I was even thinking of starting a local group, if there’s an interest….just wish you girls were closer!

Tell us about you- what do you do for a living?
I have my bachelor’s degree in speech/language pathology and am in graduate school for special education licensure. I enjoy the kids who nobody else seems to care about. I currently stay home with the youngest kid, but I help my husband (when he’s home) with our tattoo business – I’m a perpetual apprentice….and I’m also a professional notary – I conduct loan closings for title companies from all over the country.



How many children do you have? Ages, and sex
Alejandra Dahlia is 13, Marco Antonio is 12 (in Feb), and Samson Charles is 18mos.

Grandchildren? Ages, sex
My daughter says she won’t be ready until she’s 25….and Marco’s afraid of girls, so I’m safe with him for awhile….by the time Sam’s old enough he’ll already be an uncle, and I’ll be senile…

Animals?
We have 2 cats….My princess is Buffy…she’s just a regular housecat generic breed, but she looks like she has a part Siamese….her markings are like a silver-point..that’s what got her a spot in the house. Skeeter is my daughter’s cat…he’s actually nicer, but he’s a fat lazy cat who was orphaned too young, so he never had his mama teach him proper hygiene…if you get my drift. My husband has a freshwater fish tank with 12 fish in it….last time he came home one was dead, I guess I was doing something wrong….that’s his baby! We also have a million squirrels in our backyard that feed off of our garden in the summer, and are pretty brave to come up on the deck to see what’s there for them, the scoundrels!

What 3 pieces of advice can you offer other wives?

1.) You have to be flexible….times and dates are subject to change at a moment’s notice. You have to count on it, or you will be disappointed all the time!

2.) Be honest….he’s a big boy –if you miss him, say so…tell him WHAT you miss and he’ll be your slave! He’s still the dad/husband/part of your family….if you leave things out he’ll start to feel like he’s missing too much and out of the loop. Even if he can’t do anything about it, it’s important for him to know what your life is like.

3.) When my husband comes home he wants to know he’s necessary, still. He likes to do things around the house. After resting up and taking some time to decompress and shower he asks me what I need him to do…usually it’s not much, but that’s his way of taking care of us…he wants to know that I’m not SO independent that I don’t need him anymore. He knows I can do most things without him, but I still save him some small projects. Everyone’s different….if your husband would appreciate something else, do that…But it’s YOUR home time, too. I work really hard when he’s gone, too. I don’t have weekends since I’m a stay at home mom – everyday is the same for me. I look forward to him being home so I can have some little breaks, too. He spends time with the baby and lets me workout or do something I like to do – that’s what we enjoy about his home time, but everyone’s different.

What do you do with your spare time?
spare time is not very practical for me…I go on facebook and play a couple of games, chat with some people and see what other people are up to. Work out. I don’t have a lot of spare time with a toddler at home..his nap time is when I do homework.

If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?
My physical appearance….I like me most of the time.

If there was 1 thing you could change with in your marriage what would it be?
That we lived together every day….We have a very solid, strong marriage. There isn’t a thing I would change from a relationship standpoint. We “get” each-other.


Have you ever considered a CDL yourself to team with your husband?
No, a ¾ ton truck is the biggest vehicle I have driven, and it’s very uncomfortable. I would ride, though! He’d probably hate it because I would make him pull over at every scenic overlook to take pictures…..oh look….the biggest ball of twine….I better take a picture….!

Tell us what you think about the Driving Industry as a whole.
So far, our experience hasn’t been HORRIBLE. It keeps the economy moving forward, we depend on transportation to get things from here to there. He’s had a good DM who has done what he can, and I believe him when he says that. He was a driver, he knows what it’s like. I think they’re increasingly conscientious about safety, which I like….since I would HATE for this job to be the death of my favorite person in the world.



What do you think is the positive thing about the industry?
No matter how bad the economy gets, we still need it. There will always be jobs.

What do you think of the onboard recording devices?
I think it’s a good thing. For everyone’s safety and it keeps everyone honest.



What are your personal goals if any?
I’ve been unemployed for almost 2 years…..I CANNOT wait to be employed, be done with school and lose weight (not necessarily in that order). I am not a good SAHM, I admit, I get lazy. I do better when I have time pressures.

What do you do to relax?

Sleep…..

Are you into hobby’s?
see above…golfing, playing piano, I love photography….recently discovered digital scrapbooks, reading….

Sports? If so, teams

I kind of fell off the wagon a while ago….I love my MN Vikings (and anyone who’s currently beating Chicago, NY, San Francisco or Dallas…) and I love the MN Twins, too!


What are your pet peeves?
People who are really judgmental….I am the LEAST judgmental person I know, I am very accepting, and I have a hard time with people who make assumptions before they know anything about me or others. I also hate when people say things that are not backed up by knowledge, they just say what they think they know…without any facts to back it up. (examples: Michelle Bachman and my husband speaking politics)

Religion?
I’m Catholic…hence the hating judgmental thing…..I hate persecution by others, it’s between me and God!

If you would receive 1 million dollars today, what would you do with it?
Well, when I win the Dream House on HGTV it should be able to cover the taxes for a few years, at least, then the market will be back and I can live off the profits of the sale….TRAVEL TRAVEL TRAVEL….I want to go to Greece, Ireland, Eastern Europe….I want to see the rest of the world.

Color?
Greens….earthy colors

Foods?
Ciatti’s (similar to Olive Garden) Lobster lasagna, Papa Murphy’s pizza, popcorn, ice cream, Hershey’s kisses filled with caramel….chimichangas and fried green beans…..mmmm I’m hungry, now.

Drinks?
Cranberry Sangria, Blonde Sangria, Red Sangria, Spanish Sangria, Margaritas…..any if they’re in TEXAS…I LOVE Margaritas in San Antonio!!

Do you have a soap box?
Haven’t I been sitting on it? I have a blog for my husband www.whatsyour20mrhartkopf@blogspot.com I use this as an outlet for myself. We also have a website www.hartink.com for the tattoo business with a forum, although it hasn’t caught on the way I had hoped. I love to create spaces on the web, though!


What do you think the biggest thing that being a truck driving wife has taught you?
I’ve learned a lot about the relationship I have with my husband. We are committed to making our life together work, and this is part of our journey. We have come through hell and high water, and this experience has made us stronger in many ways. I learned a lot about our habits as well; not having him here has really left a void I didn’t expect.
Updated 3 hours ago · Comment · LikeUnlike · Report Note
Jennifer Swinyer-Mccarty and Laat Truckers Wives like this.
Laat Truckers Wives
Laat Truckers Wives
Fantastic! Thank you so much for Sharing Robin!!!
2 hours ago · Report
Marni Wells Jones
Marni Wells Jones
Robin...GREAT interview!!! Thanks so much for the advice.
2 hours ago · Report
Kathy Murphy
Kathy Murphy
awesome interview Robin and very nice picture too!! lots of good stuff :)
about an hour ago · Report
Robin Johnson Hartkopf
Robin Johnson Hartkopf
Thank you, girls....it was an honor!
55 minutes ago ·
Kathy Adams
Kathy Adams
You two are darling! I love that pic. You are one heck of a woman and Chuck is lucky to have you. Now, about the living in the frozen tundra thing.........
37 minutes ago via Facebook Mobile · Report
Robin Johnson Hartkopf
Robin Johnson Hartkopf
Thanks, Kathy! :)We are lucky to have each other!! Yeah, I'm working on that frozen tundra thing....his company's out of Arizona, and my grad school in online (but located in AZ), is there a theme going here??? ...I think you get my gist....
14 minutes ago ·
Robin Johnson Hartkopf
Robin Johnson Hartkopf
p.s. if there are any women tagged in this note who I am not friended with....please feel free!!! :)
14 minutes ago ·
Write a comment...